Vacation Revelations: A Stiff but Drinkable Cup of Take-an-Account was Brewed.
I woke up this morning in a new place, literally. I began to peruse an unfamiliar kitchen, shuffling about making coffee; I had to read the directions on the coffeemaker to ensure that I did not ruin our friends’ essential appliance. That’s right. I need a cone filter (I thought). Both this trivial and normal thought brewed, but many other complex ones were perking and stirring my heart for a much needed makeover. Removed from my normal elements and familiar patterns, God began to expose some hidden areas. On day one of our home-away-from-home getaway, I began to question the very basic actions of my everyday life and existence. Yet, I carefully drank this cup of coffee that He poured for me this morning. I slowly, purposefully, and difficultly considered every sip.
The Bible tells us to search our hearts and take an account. I didn’t wake up thinking these thoughts, but I was open to let God speak to me and deal with my heart, which was heavier and stained more than I realized. Simple day-to-day repeated patterns, actions, and conversations reveal the pitter-patters of our heart: How big, how small, who they are directed to, who they are not directed to, who they are directed to sometimes, and how they are held back or diminished. It was a strong and bitter cup of coffee, but it went down like medicine. Vacation God; this is what I am thinking: Resting, the thing I do little of and need desperately to do more of; ah yes, this was on my to-do list and NOT this inward deep-sea heart diving expedition. In short, day one’s vacation headlines read: A Stiff but Drinkable Cup of Take-an-Account was Brewed.
After getting to know the coffeemaker, I began to examine my actions. My heart beats with grandeur love pumps when I praise Jesus or thank someone, which is a worthy and appropriate focus and task, but is my heart pumping out these splendorous love bursts to the people and family around me on a regular basis? Are there chambers in my heart that are still bruised th
at keep me from loving others the way God intended (1 Corinthians 13)? Does God expect me to be perfect (I thought)? Of course not, but He does ask us to take an account. Excuse me while I grab a tissue; this is a tough one to write and a terribly difficult cup of coffee to drink!
I thought about how nice it would be to have breakfast when my husband came back from fishing. How delightful it would be to sit and eat a breakfast he has prepared for the two of us! To clarify, yes, he has done most of the breakfast cooking over the years; I don’t cook breakfast well. I did enjoy cooking meals, and I belonged to two supper clubs. But where is my love for cooking meals? I pondered: Lost! What else it lost (I thought)?
Though I was never one to cook breakfast because the smoke alarm would go off every time, I remembered how things used to be. How I used to be. How I used to love whole heartedly despite arrows and darts that would come from every direction. Though I thought I had dealt with bitterness, it appears that the root was not surgically removed, or the wound was so deep that it is time once again to go digging in my heart garden. Dissecting this vivid moment and my motives was and is no easy thing to do. Why would anyone want to go there? I want to go here Lord because I want to be more like you and less like me. I want my life to line-up with the Word, and though this is a hard task, I am all in Lord (I thought and cried). These eye-opening thoughts took me back to the days of my youth, otherwise known as the early married years, which exposed and leaked some secrets I had buried. I went back to the kitchen for a warm up. As a write this piece, I feel as if time is frozen; I am parked here drinking this cup of coffee revelation. Lord, please change me and soften my heart. Let the results of this moment bring glory to You; let me be changed (I begged, pleaded, prayed, and thought).
As the years go by, my husband does more cooking; I do less. I am not saying that you should judge your relationships by the amount of time you spend cooking or how you divide up these responsibilities, but I am saying you need to take an account. As I stated earlier, my family discovered early on that I was not gifted in making tasty delicious breakfasts on the weekends. I could never get it quite right! But I am reminded that I need to judge my actions and look inward and dissect my relationships, especially the ones close to me, which is my family, my first ministry before anything else, except seeking and serving God.
Yes, this is a hard cookie to swallow or cup of joe to drink on any day of the week. But on day one of my house sitting vacation at our friends’ home; yes, I took a bite of this cookie. Hmm. It’s going to be a long vacation. My body may do some resting, but if I allow God to peruse my recent surge of weeds in my garden, I just may have a flowered heart garden ready to be posted in one of those well-manicured garden magazines. I hear my husband walking in.......
I posted this on both of my spiritual and inspirational blogs because I felt both readers would be blessed.